Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Is Being Single all that Bad?

 Are you someone who dreads spending the 14th of February alone?

Nobody likes to be alone, especially on a day when couples spend their time getting lovey dovey with each other. However, in this epoch, Valentine’s Day is not the only day when single people feel pressured into getting into a relationship.

Every day, many teenagers and young adults in campus feel compelled to seek out what they do not have, for the wrong reasons. At the sight of happy fellow student couples, they feel left out and believe that they too, need a relationship.

“Sometimes, I’ll feel lonely and wonder why no one picks me. I may even worry that I’ll be left out in the future. But after the thoughts disappear, I’ll think back on my life and realise that I have more time to spend with my family and friends. They’re people who make me happy too,” said Dana Chan, a Year 2 Sports & Wellness Management student.

I must admit, being in a relationship has its perks too. Spending time studying together, eating in the canteen, to being each other’s pillar of strength in tough times must be an indescribable, good feeling.

However, many people do not realise that sacrifices have to be made for a relationship to work as well. Both parties need to be committed and trust each other, and it is also inevitable that both parties will hurt when misunderstandings arise.

“When I’m away from him, I’ll miss him. I think about him,” said Sara Tcheau, from Kaplan University. “When I was alone, I didn’t need to worry or care for someone else. But this is a choice, you will willingly take the fights, arguments and insecurities just to stay with the person you love.”

Some students, like Sheila Selvaraju, a Year 2 Diploma in Social Sciences (Social Work) student, prefer to wait for the right moment.

“As a single person, I have the freedom to make my own decisions and it’s less restricting. I do wish I had a boyfriend. But I won’t get into a relationship just for the fun of it. I will wait for someone I really love,” she said.

Joanne Quek, a Year 2 Fund Management & Administration student, said: “I feel carefree, there’s no need to worry about things like making time for my partner. However, I do feel lonely sometimes. When I see couples being sweet, I’ll get envious sometimes. But there’s no point rushing, I believe that someday, someone will fit me.”

As for myself, it would be nice for someone to love me. But right now, I’m still on a journey to love myself. If I can’t fully love myself, how can I love somebody else?

When I see couples seemingly happy in school, I’m happy for them. But I also like the personal space that I have now. Feelings of attraction do rise up sometimes, but most of the time, it is just puppy love. When I am attracted to someone, I tend to ask myself, can I see myself loving this person at his worst?

To anyone who is single and feels left out, I say, don’t be. There are the perks of being single and available, you have the power to spend more time with yourself, and you have more opportunities for personal growth.

Treasure the friendships you have now and invest in them. Make friends who will be there for you in life and embrace the joys of being in this beautiful stage.

Someday, someone out there will love you at the right time.

By Sharlene Tan, Diploma in Fund Management & Administration

“The strongest hearts are the ones that have been broken.” 

Setbacks are unavoidable in life, but what matters is picking yourself up.☺ Being one of the new members of The Write Stuff, Sharlene Tan is on her amazing journey to living life fulfilled. 
Her family and friends are the ones who have kept her going, and they mean the world to her. 

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